Pondering...

We've all done it at least one point in time in our lives. Asking ourselves the question of "what if?". Lately there have been a lot of those kinds of questions in my life. "What if I'd paid more attention in class?" "What if I took that full ride scholarship?" "What if I was still in California?". So many questions run throughout my mind about all the different possibilities that could happen or what has happened. I've been thinking a lot about where I would like to be in ten years. I come up with ridiculous ideas and outlandish dreams of one day being something, or someone that will be well known in history. My current fascination is becoming a doctor, whether that be in pediatrics, or just your basic family practice. I'm not sure which direction I'd go.

I often doubt my capabilities and determination about actually going to school and getting my degree. My biggest problem right now is that I don't know if I'm just fantasizing about someone else's dream, my husband's. He has known for the longest time that he wants to be a doctor. He loves medicine and wants to be surrounded by it, he wants to help and do some good in this world. I've always been passionate about helping people, and making them feel better as well. Now does that mean that I should become a doctor? No, I know that there are numerous other ways that I could fulfill my need to help others. I've always considered teaching, I wouldn't mind being a science teacher in high school. I would be that one teacher that seems very ADD and "out there", but I would make the classes fun and entertaining. I think thats the best way to learn, it was always like that for me. I had many boring teachers, and my grades showed that haha. All the classes that seemed humdrum I didn't o well in, the classes that I had loud, fun, and exciting teachers I always had good grades in those classes. I would want to be that kind of teacher.

So my questions are still buzzing around in my brain, "What if I become a doctor?" "What if I become a teahcer?"......Or there is another question that I can't seem to shake, "What if I become a stay at home mom?"! Hahaha, oh boy!

Well I suppose thats enough ranting for the day, I still have a lot of errands to run. EEP! Lol, Peace Out!